Tips on Spending Your Usual Student Day

1. 1. As soon as you have woken up - wake your room-mates. Four-letter words will help you get your sleep out and feel more energetic.
2. 2. Having woken your room-mates, be the first one to occupy the shower and the toilet, have the communal cache of food, put on your best shoes. As a result, you'll get more energy:).
   3. Coming out of the hostel, do not wake up night watchman, have a pity to the old man. It's quiet enough for him that you woke him up at 4 a.m. when coming back from the night club.
3. 4. In your uni corridors say "Hello!" to everyone who's over 30. What if it's your teacher? Hardly will you know all of them!
4. 5. Being late to your classes, don't interrupt your Professor by knocking at the door or by a stupid question, like "May I come in?" If you may not, you'll be hurled out of the classroom or pretended to be not noticed.
5. If you're still allowed to come in, don't chat, misbehave or make noise. Just settle on your desk and sleep still. Youll have an oportunity to chat, misbehave and make noise at the next lecture, after you have had a good sleep.
6. Be careful with writing the lecture down. Only dilligent girls make notes. So, before executing this process, think over your sexual orientation.
7. During the lecture ask as much questions as possible. You have a perfect chance to be noticed and remembered by your Professor.
8. After your classes your conscience invokes you to go to the library, but your soul wants having fun in the cafe. Follow your soul's appeal. What you'll be given in the cafe assimilates faster than what you'll be given in the library.
9. After the cafe you may visit your friends. Who knows, maybe any of them will feed you. If you've been fed substantially, thank the host. It'll enhance your chances to be fed again.
10. Your conscience suggests that you should study a bit. Answer it that it's not the end of the term yet. Besides, your favourite TV show will start in a few minutes.
11. Call at your friends or classmates again with the hope to get a free lunch. The more friends you have, the more effective your fight against your hunger will be.
12. After the dinner nap a bit and go to the night club.
13. When coming back from the night club in the early morning, do'nt damn the nigth watchman.
14. When going to bed, wake your room-mates. Don't disable them to be glad that you've come back at last, safe and sound.
15. The next day start with the point 1.